I Got a Grip of Thugs!

Marci X (2003)

Rating ... B- (58)

Did Marci X ever have a chance? Tucked away in Paramount's vault for three years before being surreptitiously dumped into theatres during the dog days of 2003, Marci X opened to numerous detractors who detected its bloodscent from miles away. The film suffered undue animosity from critics bemoaning its lack of "seriousness" (read: not actually analogous to lack of meaning) and the public, bored of the stale white-people-acting-black trope, yet in actuality the film is a sunny satire on hip-hop duplicity.

Marci is a Jewish socialite on a mission to clear her father's maligned name. After rapper Dr. S releases a controversial album through a label buried somewhere in the corporate conglomerate her father operates, he's shunned by do-gooder senator Mary Ellen Spinkle, who calls for a boycott.

Marci first visits Dr. S backstage at one of his concerts, where he claims himself and his music to be "keepin' it real" [to the streets where he grew up] yet his laughably masculine act reeks of affectation, replete with self-deification ("the power in my pants") and wealth on display. His connection to the culture he raps for and about is tenuous at best; this conceit is cleverly conveyed through the outlandish costumes Dr. S sports, the best of which is an oversized bling zipper whose teeth are individual bullet casings.

Marci on the other hand is satirized as a well-meaning, upper crust airhead with a similar dilemma. When Dr. S upstages her during the concert and puts her on the spot, she raps about "the power in my purse" - it's a display every bit as self-aggrandizing as that of Dr. S because she raps a similar testament to her own unearned wealth and privilege (evidenced by her mode fashion made possible by daddy's earnings) which is justified by her high-profile, humanitarian displays of gratuity.

Marci X satirizes not only the lavishness of hip-hop in contrast to the lifestyle of the culture it represents, but also the nature of the social messages present within hip-hop. Satirical song titles like "Shoot the Teachers" and "Six Grades Are Plenty" remark on how hip-hop panders to black culture yet displays no desire to better it. The general public responds to what they believe to be obscenity by censure and point to sanitized alternatives, shown in the film as the hilarious Boyz R Us, an N-Sync-esque boy band with "positive" messages about abstinence that are just as out of touch with reality as Marci and her charity dinners for children with esoteric diseases.

This conflict about the explicitness of rap music escalates to a senate hearing where the label is put on trial (spoofing events from the 90's), prompting Marci and Dr. S to argue on hip-hop's behalf. They contend hip-hop to be a method of expressing truths (like any artistic medium), albeit in a manner often too base for consumption. Marci X celebrates the overlap between cultures, whose diversity is lauded as in essence, different ways of saying the same thing.

Scraper Bike Bike Bike Bike

Nasu: Summer in Andalusia [m] (2003)

Rating ... A (97)

The challenge - create Ghibli quality anime about professional cycling in only 45 minutes. It sounds like a sure bet 'against' for Werner Herzog but Nasu would find the German eating another shoe. Nasu hails from seasoned Japanese animation director Kitaro Kosaka but the coda - characterization without eminent plotting - is classic French. Pepe Benengeli is a Spanish pro-circuit cyclist participating in a race that runs through his home turf in Andalusia, though the prospects of revisiting his family and friends are less than exhilarating. Pepe's resentment is multi-layered; his idea of success involves money and fame but Andalusia endures economic penury for the sake of cultural and traditional clout. In the past he stole his brother's thunder by going pro at cycling while his brother (also an avid cyclist) performed military service, but when Pepe returns from his own tour of duty, the local hero discovers the deed reversed, his old flame seduced in return. And he's ideologically opposed to his extended family, a jovial but geographically planted bunch who represent his greatest aversions - condoning limited aspirations and settling for mediocrity.



Unsurprisingly, religion is a source of subtle strife between parties. His brother and former gal opt for a cathedral wedding - solemn and sanctified, whose consummating kiss occurs post-ceremony during the flamenco reception. Pepe's brush with religion is gracefully implied during an establishing shot of Madrid that initially fixates on the cross atop a cathedral, which slowly falls out of visibility as the shot reframes to Pepe. Religion, tradition, and family are all negative influences for Pepe because they mean a loss of personal control. Then the film scrutinizes the particulars of Pepe's existence - the fickle corporate sponsors, the teamwork (or lack thereof), the contests between cyclists of basically equal ability won by hundreths of a second, and even the family cat scrambling around on the race track - and Pepe comes to a gradual understanding even the most ambitious of go-getters are still fundamentally at the mercy of outside forces. The change is already set in motion by the time Pepe overdoes his Disneyland speech, where he sardonically applauds his sponsor and elides mention of his family, who cheerfully play damage control when they meet afterwards and Pepe acts like an impudent child, letting loose with an immature have-it-all display. The ending is a cinematic one-two punch, where Pepe figuratively relinquishes bull-by-the-horns ethos and embraces his national identity, instructing his teammates on the traditional way to eat Nasu. The scene irises in to the pickled eggplant, accompanied by the CHA-CHING! of the bell from a recreational bike. Nasu affirms tradition and amateurism, not out of laziness or social conformity, but rather as a method of fulfillment in the face of individual limitations.

Now You Die a Screaming Death!

X2: X-Men United (2003)

Rating ... A- (88)

Superheroes struck a chord with American film-goers beginning in the early 2000's, and while the first two X-Men films were tent-poles of the genre, one can't help but wonder about the contrary subtext present in both of them. Audiences were enthusiastic towards super powers, but here were two stories about how these unique talents were ostracized in the spirit of The Man in the White Suit. Politicians were only concerned about mutants with regards to national security, normal people considered them grotesque, and half the bearers didn't even want their own mutation because it was some annoying quirk like changing television channels with your eyeballs or screaming really loudly.

The first X-Men didn't make many friends, at least not critically. The fanservice one-liners were there, as were the numerous comic book shout-out mutants who wandered in and out of the frame without ever seeing much elaboration, but most considered the film cold and distant. It did not have the warm and optimistic tone or the comfy, insular Leave It to Beaver-esque milieu Raimi would choose for Spider-Man - a movie many still hold up as the star of the genre. Part of the problem is that these folks did not connect the dots after battle lines were drawn. It was obvious that Magneto and Xavier were supposed to be the villain and hero, respectively, because they did not agree on the solution to the "mutant problem." (Magneto knew mutants were the superior race, and simply plowed forward in conquest over the weak, while Xavier sought a more harmonious approach.) It was not obvious, however, what all of this meant. The importance of this conflict can be summarized in two scenes from the film. The first occurred when the duo squared off at a train station, which resulted in a painless Mexican standoff where Magneto held the entire police force hostage with their own rifles and goaded Xavier that he would not be successful because he wasn't "willing to make sacrifices." The second was the evocative final scene, when Xavier visited Magneto after thwarting his scheme to cripple humanity and pave the way for the new mutant strain. At this point it was clear that Xavier had sacrificed something - human progress to uphold egalitarianism. The cinematography coincides with this idea, as Xavier left Magneto's plastic prison - spectacularly lit, a shining beacon toward mankind's future - and rejoined society, receding into darkness.



Now a funny thing has happened with the sequel: X2 ratchets up the number of sumptuous scenes and figurative storytelling, all without embracing the fun of the superhero premise. There are now several indicators of Bryan Singer's agenda to avoiding sugar-coating mutant powers. Consider when Wolverine defends the academy from special ops forces while Iceman cowers in fear. (He is pretty much a minor and serious combat for he and the rest of the students is out of the question.) Human augmentation in this scene is portrayed as being as destructive as it is useful - not simply a hardware upgrade free of ramifications. During the dam invasion, Wolverine must battle with Lady Deathstrike. They are effectively members of the same team, but she is under mind control and cannot be subdued, short of death. This fight sequence does not resemble that which opens the film, where Nightcrawler's gleefully virtuoso, wire-assisted dance demonstrates how one mutant's power outclasses that of many humans. There is little summer blockbuster-ism to be found in this duel, whose cadence is primarily one of straight punches and painful lacerations. Wolverine wins but it is a pyrrhic victory. Deathstrike's metal-injected body submerges before coming to rest with a sickening thud. This conflict is not epic; it is tragic, and one of several instances where we see terrifying powers whose practical applications are eclipsed by their militaristic uses. They are innate weapons that make it easier for humans to kill other humans.

Contrary to its predecessor X2 is ruthless about exposition and developing relationships. As complement to the aforementioned scene when the school is attacked, Iceman repays the favor by later rescuing Wolverine from Stryker (the man who grafted adamantium to Wolverine) by depositing a wall of ice between them. This gesture seamlessly incorporates inter-character reciprocation while simultaneously fleshing out Wolverine's dilemma - resignation of who he was before his operation (beautifully symbolized by Stryker's blurry figure through the ice) in order to address what is happening now. Brian Cox is superb playing the chief antagonist Stryker, a military scientist with a chip on his shoulder after his son was born with a mutation that fared for the worse. Mutation is a disease to him, like a festering appendage in need of pruning. He's Magneto but inverted; they're both champions of the homogeneous whose crusades for purification are dangerously inseparable from personal vindictiveness. A subplot and coming-out parallel concerning the "flamer" mutant who refuses to play possum for society's preferences and teams up with Magneto because Magneto exalts ability and individualism attests to the ease with which a lack of acceptance creates mutual resentment. The shared viewpoint that comprises their relationship is forged by their body language; to initiate the conversation Magneto seizes Pyro's lighter from a distance, using his power to overcome the boy's. When he returns it afterward, he does so hand to hand - a gesture signifying equality and fraternity.

Singer also uses eye color as a running metaphor for a character's emotions. Storm has a brief subplot glimpsed by her conversations with Nightcrawler. She has grown resentful of humanity, as they have made little attempt to bridge the divide in the benevolent manner she and Xavier have. Her abilities make her elite but she has abandoned the rest of society out of spite, signified by the shots of her darkened eyes. Nightcrawler does not have a firm rebuttal but he introduces her to his motivation: faith. Lady Deathstrike's eyes are grey-white metallic while under the effects of mind control secretion but natural brown free of it, and Stryker's son features two conflicting colors: vibrant blue with a sickly green - dignity coexisting with self-loathing. A blockbuster with a brain, X2 upholds its precursor's subtle preoccupation with social evolution; we move forward when we accept diversity within unity.

Expletive Defeated

The Last Samurai (2003)

Rating ... D+ (22)

"There is indeed something... spiritual, in this place," stammers Tom Cruise during The Last Samurai, vainly grasping at a sense of awe his film fervently desires but is unable to achieve. No line better summarizes The Last Samurai and its philosophy of employing shortcuts to epic grandeur, but I'll certainly try. Best described as Hollywood's next idea to simultaneously fence-mend foreign relations and draw in the historical epic crowd, The Last Samurai glacially chronicles Tom Cruise's "rise and fall, which were in fact exceptionally minor so he can now experience another rise and fall, which will now appear incredibly epic by comparison!" in the land of the rising sun. More specifically, Cruise agrees to teach imperial troops Civil War era tactics, and after getting his ass handed to him by a group of rebel samurai that he was meant to exterminate, he's taken prisoner and inexplicably allowed to live. In fact, Cruise is so handsome, it's decided that he can become an honorary samurai and learn Bushido. Hi-yah!

The Last Samurai pulls a lot of strings to situate characters in black and white roles. There will be a villain, there will be a noble hero, and if you aren't good then you obviously must be evil. The problem is, rather than allow its characters to carve an original chunk out of a familiar whole, The Last Samurai merely uses the stereotypes as an expository bypass, coasting on what audiences already know given the characters' position in order to make more room for epic staples like drawn-out battles, cherry blossoms (for the pathos), and ninja attacks. If that wasn't bad enough, The Last Samurai can't even figure out exactly what it feels like achieving. Spelled out in history and the film title is the fate of the samurai, and the film treats it with as many conflicting attitudes as possible. It's dramatic! It's glorious! It's ass-kicking! It's slo-mo! It's our hero's ethical cleansing! It's meaningful no really! "The way of the warrior" dictates that it's "honorable to die in battle," explains the code of the Samurai, allowing Watanabe and his cohorts to exit the film with honorable failure. But there's another code at work here, the Hollywood conservation of celebs, which affirms the relatively inexperienced Tom Cruise's eventual survival over that of his newfound cohorts', and the usual happy ending, on top of the film's previous, scattershot commitments of glorious death, spiritual importance, martial arts beatdown, and historical applicability. Simply put, The Last Samurai wants it all, but it's not up to the task of having it.

Can You Lend a Digger a Pencil?

Holes (2003)

Rating ... B+ (72)

A pair of flying sneakers accosts Stanley Yelnats IV from out of the blue and he's promptly charged with theft; police investigation soon ceases but he's out of the frying pan into the Camp Green Lake correctional facility where he's required to dig holes each day in order to build character. In other news, live-action Disney momentarily abandons talking animals and platitudes in favor of absurdism and allegory, finds affecting way to depict hostility pardoned and individual strength gained in the process.

It's easiest to spot Holes as a canny satire on the brute force mentality of correction. ("You take a bad boy and make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, turns him into a good boy!" - Mr. Sir, camp law enforcement.) Things start to turn hairy for Stanley when he's inexplicably framed for stealing the recently-donated tennis shoes of his idol, Clyde 'Sweetfeet' Livingston (Rick Fox). Clyde's hilarious, faux-tearful testimony - "I don't understand what type of person steals from homeless children [ turns to camera ] ... you're no fan of mine!" - speaks to adults' vain modeling of child development and reform in their own image. Meanwhile the court feigns clemency when it allows Stanley to choose the lesser of two identical evils as his sentence - time spent in prison, or at Camp Green Lake - without ever addressing the root cause of the issue on trial.

The bulk of the problem concerns how people respond to animosity. The wardens at Green Lake are all instances of malice reproduced rather than healed at the source. Tim Blake Nelson's sheepish counselor has a nasty proclivity for picking on the weakest in order to conceal his own diminuitive stature, while Mr. Sir (John Voight, apparently smoking some exotic tumbleweed that must be seen to be believed) is ultimately revealed to be a lifetime miscreant and product of failed correction. Then there's Sigourney Weaver sad history of digging holes - pain inherited from her father before being passed down to camp inmates under the guise of correction. And the lore of Green Lake is just as sullied; a substantial part of the narrative follows exploits of the legendary bandit Kissin' Kate Barlow, who pursues violent reciprocation for the intolerance around her but ultimately withers away, dispirited and alone.

As if Holes needed more subtle pessimism, Stanley's family is suffering from an unluckiness curse brought upon by their ancestor's failure to hold up his end of the bargain with a gypsy. Stanley unknowingly repays the debt when he willingly assumes a similar burden for Madam Zeroni's descendent; unavoidably, children are destined to be bequeathed shortcomings from their forebearers, and the film is a tribute to their ability to fill in the holes.

Donation, Maybe!

No work on your day off!


A
Nasu: Summer in Andalusia [m] (97)
Millennium Actress (90)

A-
X2: X-Men United (88)
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (80)

B+
The Cat Returns (74)
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (73)
Dynasty Warriors 4 (72)
Holes (72)
"Mythbusters" (70)

B
Finding Nemo (69)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (68)
School of Rock (68)
Down with Love (67)
Disgaea (66)
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (65)
The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons From the Life of Robert S. McNamara (64)
Mobile Light Force 2 (63)
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (63)
Matchstick Men (62)
"Red vs Blue" (62)
Gerry (61)
Lost in Translation (61)

B-
Mario Kart Double Dash (60)
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (60)
"Gunslinger Girl" (59)
Rivers and Tides (59)
Shattered Glass (58)
Marci X (58)
Open Range (58)
Big Fish (57)
"The Even Stevens Movie" (57)
The Lizzie McGuire Movie (56)
Kill Bill Vol. 1 (56)
The Company (55)
The Secret Lives of Dentists (55)
"Most Extreme Elimination Challenge" (54)
The Matrix Reloaded (54)
Millennium Mambo (53)
Peter Pan (53)
Bad Santa (52)
Capturing the Friedmans (52)
Winged Migration (52)

C+
Freaky Friday (51)
Better Luck Tomorrow (51)
Phone Booth (50)
"Fullmetal Alchemist" (50)
The Cowboy Bebop Movie (50)
"Teen Titans" (49)
Intolerable Cruelty (49)
Out of Time (49)
Dark Blue (48)
The Medallion (48)
demonlover (48)
Underworld (47)
Girl with a Pearl Earring (47)
A Mighty Wind (46)
"Star Wars: Clone Wars" (46)
Star Ocean 3: Til the End of Time (46)
The Hunted (45)
Johnny English (45)
Bus 174 (45)
Paycheck (44)
"Wolf's Rain" (44)
28 Days Later (44)

C
Something's Gotta Give (43)
All the Real Girls (43)
S.W.A.T. (43)
So Close (42)
Interstella 5555 (42)
The Rundown (42)
Mona Lisa Smile (42)
The Order (41)
The Italian Job (41)
The Eye (41)
Camp (41)
Owning Mahowny (40)
The Triplets of Belleville (40)
Daredevil (40)
The Shape of Things (40)
The Barbarian Invasions (39)
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (39)
Stuck on You (39)
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (39)
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (38)
Anything Else (38)
Spellbound (38)
Confidence (38)
The Missing (37)
Veronica Guerin (37)
The Matrix Revolutions (37)
Buffalo Soldiers (37)
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (36)
The Recruit (36)
Cradle 2 the Grave (36)
The Human Stain (36)

C-
The Animatrix (35)
Final Destination 2 (35)
Alex & Emma (35)
Elf (35)
Bulletproof Monk (34)
Swimming Pool (34)
Hulk (34)
Elephant (33)
May (33)
The Safety of Objects (33)
Shanghai Knights (33)
American Splendor (32)
How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days (32)
In the Cut (32)
Cold Mountain (32)
Basic (31)
The In-Laws (31)
Scary Movie 3 (31)
Uptown Girls (31)
Ned Kelly (30)
Ju-On: The Grudge (30)
2 Fast 2 Furious (30)
Gothika (30)
Oseam (29)
Bruce Almighty (29)
In America (29)
It Runs in the Family (29)
The Core (28)
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (28)
Identity (28)
Mystic River (28)

D+
Biker Boyz (27)
A Guy Thing (27)
Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (27)
The Life of David Gale (26)
Brother Bear (26)
Cypher (25)
Calendar Girls (25)
Secondhand Lions (25)
Honey (25)
Levity (24)
People I Know (24)
Boat Trip (24)
Deliver Us from Eva (24)
Agent Cody Banks (23)
The Station Agent (23)
Whale Rider (23)
The Real Cancun (22)
The Last Samurai (22)
Love Actually (22)
The Cooler (21)
21 Grams (21)
Grind (21)
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (20)
Old School (20)
Beyond Re-Animator (20)
Cheaper by the Dozen (19)
How to Deal (19)
Seabiscuit (19)

D
Dirty Pretty Things (18)
Anger Management (18)
Just Married (18)
Hollywood Homicide (17)
Runaway Jury (17)
The Cat in the Hat (16)
Run Ronnie Run (16)
Gigli (15)
Timeline (15)
Pieces of April (15)
A Man Apart (14)
View from the Top (14)
Legally Blond 2: Red, White, and Blonde (14)
What a Girl Wants (13)
The Haunted Mansion (13)
The Fighting Temptations (13)
House of the Dead (12)
From Justin to Kelly (12)
Head of State (12)
Dreamcatcher (11)
House of Sand and Fog (11)
Wrong Turn (10)
Sylvia (10)
Bad Boys II (10)

F
City of God (9)
Thirteen (9)
Kangaroo Jack (8)
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (8)
Tears of the Sun (7)
National Security (7)
My Boss's Daughter (6)
Willard (6)
Darkness Falls (5)
Freddy vs. Jason (5)
Radio (4)
House of 1000 Corpses (4)
Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (4)
Malibu's Most Wanted (3)
Daddy Day Care (3)
Bringing Down the House (2)
Monster (1)


Eagerly Awaiting
Fire Emblem
In My Skin
Manic
Munto
Pistol Opera
Raising Victor Vargas
The Son
Sweet Sixteen
Viewtiful Joe

Least Anticipated
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Lilya 4-Ever



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